don't say anything at all. That phrase also works if you don't have something positive to say about a certain situation. In order to stay in a positive frame of mind about selling this house I am going to choose not to "verbal vomit" to all of you about the situation right now. I'll just keep confessing John 16:24 - Ask and receive that your joy might be complete.
I really miss Corey. I just saw him 8 hours ago but I know I'm not going to see him until 5:30 Friday night. We went to STL yesterday for the night but we didn't really get much down time together as a family. I spent much of yesterday in the car, if I sat here and added up how many hours I spent in the car I would have even more to "vomit" about!
Aly had dance class yesterday morning, it was observation week. We received all of our information about the recital and then parents and guests were invited to observe the girls in their actual class. Grandma & Grandpa came to watch Miss Aly "show off". Even they noticed that Al prances around the studio like she owns the place. I ordered her recital song cd yesterday because her and I have a little practicing to do. Since we commute in from Columbia right now we don't always make it to class every week so I need to make sure she's on top of her game, plus I love any excuse to bust out my tap shoes and dance around on the tile to Cruella DeVille with the girls.
After dance we "drove" (start noticing all of the my emphasis on the word drove) to the commuter parking lot to meet Daddy so he could drop off his car. Then we "drove" Daddy back to work. Then we "drove" back to commuter parking to pick up our niece Alex (she's staying with us til Saturday since she's on cycle break). Then we "drove to MawMaw & PawPaw's in Eureka with a slight detour in the Valley to Target to pick up not one but two copies of the new movie "Nancy Drew" (I can't wait to watch it). After dropping the girls off at MawMaw's house I "drove" back to O'Fallon to pick Corey up then he "drove" to meet the realtor. We "drove" around with our realtor for over 2 hours and then we finally "drove" back to Eureka and ended up at Corey's parents at about 8 last night. The girls and I got up this morning and "drove" all the way back to Columbia. After a horrible nights sleep (I slept on the floor with Ash, she gets really croupy sounding when she sleeps on the feather bed or pillows at MawMaw's and then she cries so I was doing my best to pacify her so that all those that have to get up early for work could get a decent nights sleep) all I wanted to do way cry all the way back to Columbia, but I didn't, I had to be strong for all of the girls.
Why did I want to cry? I just want to be in STL functioning as a family 24/7. I feel like I am in limbo right now. Anyone who knows me knows that I like things in order and an itinerary. I like to have things planned out well in advance, I like to know what is going on and when it's going to take place. I am always calling people asking "what's the game plan". This whole experience of not knowing when the girls and I are going to be able to relocate has just really got me down "today". Emphasis on the "today". A wise woman had a phrase that she liked to encourage me with and it was "this too shall pass". Boy, I sure do miss you Gram. I know she's right, as I was riding my exercise bike, talking to Corey and crying ( I burned double calories for riding the bike and crying, right?) and I could hear Gram's voice in my head saying that to me. Then I'm sure the Holy Ghost told me, "you are going to look back on this short amount of time and laugh that you were riding your bike in the garage crying about this". So God, I'm ready to laugh about this, will you please tell me exactly when this is going to happen?
Back to the house hunting, the realtor is a super nice lady, we really like her! Like I stated above, she "drove" us around for over two hours and we looked at about 7 houses. What did we come up with in the two hours? I think we are new construction people. I have never had a "used" ( I call it pre-existing now, sounds better) house (the duplex does not count) and it was really tough to walk into these homes and see other people's grime. By the time you rip out all of the cabinets/counter tops and put in the ones I like, get new appliances, get new carpet, ceramic tile...etc. you might as well just buy new. They just don't make houses in STL like they do in Columbia. We have been very spoiled with the homes we have purchased here. This was the first time we looked at pre-existing and we were just not impressed. We keep going back to the new construction subdivision in O'Fallon that we absolutely love. Our house here in Columbia shows like a display home compared to what we saw there. As soon as we get a contract on this house we can put a contract on a house there. So...when exactly are we going to get a contract on this house?
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4 comments:
Hi Sweet Pea!
I know how bad this feels. I remember being in your shoes when dad would get a job transfer. The worst was when he left for Colorado and your brother was only 2 weeks old! That was awful! You're right, you have to be strong for your girlies.
Think of it this way. Think of this as an opportunity. Ask God what He wants to teach you during this time.
Is it learning to be totally reliant on Him like never before? Is it showing you His father's heart and how He tends to every little detail? Is it how He is "a Father to the Fatherless"? (Not that my grand baby's don't have a fabulous earthly daddy!) Is it learning to be still and finding rest and all sufficiency in Him? Whatever He has in mind, pray to be open to HIM and HE will reveal Himself to you.
Jeremiah wrote this to the exiles in captivity, not that I'm comparing Columbia to being in exile. So many times we focus on the first part of this verse and don't read any further.
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper to you and not harm you, plans to give you a hope and a futeure."
But read on to the next verse of this precious promise!
"Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all of your heart."
Jeremiah 29: 11-13
If you do liken being in Columbia to exile you can read vs 14 which says,
"I will be found by you, declares the Lord, and will bring you back from captivity. I gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you, declares the Lord, and bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile."
When God's purposes had been accomplished, He brought Israel back. When you and Corey went to Columbia, it wasn't banishment but a time that God had for both of you to grow closer to Him. When His purposes are accomplished, he will return you as well. Already everything is falling into place. He provided Corey with a job that accomplishes a return as well as your being home with the girlies. He is a God of detail and nothing escapes His fine eye of attention! You WILL look back and marvel at how God not only orchestrated everything to fall into place but also His provision for you in every circumstance! (physical, spiritual, emotional, etc)
remember Jenn, you are a strong gal and you come from a very long line of strong women! Even better you have a stronger God who walks beside you!
I love you and will get to see you in less than a week!
Mom
Thanks Mom, I knew my mommy would have some good encouragement for me. The funny thing is is that I have thought about and I know in my heart of hearts that everything you said is right on.
We had a guest evangelist at our church this past Monday and Tuesday and he made a comment something to the effect of " Sometimes I'd just like to take 5 minutes off". You know, 5 minutes off from having to act Christlike all the time and just go around the corner and beat someone up, tell them off, etc. you get the point. Yesterday I really felt like I just wanted to take 5 minutes off and just go off about everything.
We had a great service at church last night and I think it was during offering that Pastor Mark mentioned something about planting your seeds but then you dig up everything you planted with what comes out of your mouth. I say all of this to say, I'm glad I didn't take "5 minutes off" to verbal vomit, I don't want to dig all of my good seeds up!
Looking forward to next week. Can't wait to see all of you!
Jenn,
I hate to hear you so down. You are very lucky to still hear Gram. I hear her often too. Your mom is right, you do come from a long line of strong women and you are right there with them. My favorite saying at times like these is "everything happens for a reason". Sometimes, probably most times, we don't know what that reason is but everything ends up being great!!
I am really sorry that your room is taken, for more reasons than one! I miss those sleepovers! I would have slept on the floor, oh wait, I already have!
Take care and cheer up.
I love you all,
Jamie
Hey Jamie,
I'm better today, Gram's voice in my head was right! I'm sorry that our room is taken too but it's no big deal. I got a room at the Drury next Tuesday night. I didn't end up needing the AAA rate the e-saver rate was better. I requested early check in so the girls and I can just shop at the Mall and then hang out til Corey gets off work. They have a nice pool too so I probably bring the girls suits. It should be like a mini getaway, very mini since we have to be at the airport by about 5:15 Wednesday morning!
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